I'm restless; I need faith and courage

Things has become more and more complicated regarding with my job.
I just feel so tired and lazy to deal with it....
I’m not a person like conflict and when I’m uncertain
I tend to run and run as far as I can to avoid discuss the topic.
I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t want to think about it.
It make me tension and peace is far to reach.

When God see this, He knew what to do,
God is a great God and responsible father;
He doesn’t allow His child to run away from problem
and He want us the children to learn
how to settle the problem not running away from it.

As a father He want us to be stronger like Him
not weak or become coward who just know how to hide.
I keep on ask God why He allow me to see things and wisdom to know it.
How come He don’t make a way for me?
Is it that hard?
I ask god to allow me, make a way for me.
Well I don’t get a green light,

Means I have to find solution for my problem and my concern;
Well I did manage to settle it.
One day after all settle, something happen and Oh NO!!!
I hate that! Trying to find solution, but problem keep on occur.
So I ask god: Are you making fun of my life?

Well when I calm myself I realize its God work’s
He is giving me second chance;
He gave me serenity to accept things I can’t change
and the courage to change things I can.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,
of course there is solution if I accept the offer.
As I go through this little book,
I saw the affirmation from my Debbie Ros – Purpose Driven

Yes, I always ask myself WHAT is the purpose?
("WHAT" is a word Bea and Derek teach me,
believe it or not;
it change my life and opens my heart
which allows me to see myself and deep inside my heart)
Having answer allow me to think and walk farther, so I ask myself:
Do I want to go for it? Does it help me?
What I want to achieve at the end? What is my expectation?

After asking myself,
I decided to reject the job offer.
To be honest I am sad and it is a hard decision to make,
I don’t know what to hope for.
But this is the will of God,
I know I need to put my trust on God

"Yes, I know what plans I have in mind for you,
Yahweh declares,
plans for peace, not for disaster,
to give you a future and a hope."
-Jeremiah 29:11-

At the end I feel restless;
What I need now is faith and courage.