useless

I never though that it’s difficult for me to use my own imagination in lab. Yes, I do have good imagination, but when I’m in crystallography I’m stuck. This subject really require high imagination to understand, because if you didn’t hold your block nicely and accurate, you wouldn’t find what you want. Today in lab, I try to hold and imagine, my friend explain to me again and again, yet I still can’t get where is the place I should hold and find the symmetry line for that system. I look on the block and start thinking the point that I want, again and again I find but was disappointed by my own imagination. I feel like crying at that moment, I ask myself: why I can not imagine such simple things? I’m so useless. Everyone can do it and I’m left behind. What should I do? I don’t know. Worries flows in me, making me disappointed and create the feeling of giving up. But at the same time, I’m scared, my mind telling me not to give up. I feel very cool and I don’t know what to do anymore………

a date with internet

Yesterday is 14 Febuary, it’s a good day for me but of course not for a date. What I mean is that at last!! I got wireless already in my hostel block. But yet only when I sit at the stairs I get….but it’s consider ok if compare to taking 2 minute walk to café, just to get wireless. Here is a nice place also, at my left is the Crocker formation and mount Kinabalu, the right side is hill. The wireless is a bit slow but safer for us who like to online during the day. Thank God…